Was God tricking the world by adding this complicated interaction between men and women. Was it to confuse us? Did He add sex after the fall to keep us from intimacy? Have you ever wondered if there is going to be sex in heaven? There will be no Greek, Jew, male nor female... Is sex earthly? Why is sexuality so misunderstood in the church? Why do we hide our sexuality in a cloud of secrecy? If you have had these same questions please accept this humble layman's view of Holy Sexuality. I know that it sounds worldly to use these two words in the same sentence. I must try to tell my children the miracle of intimacy their mother and I have found after thirty years of marriage.
I am a father of four mostly grown children two girls and two boys. Barbara and I have two grand children. The three remaining children are old enough to think marriage. They are a little embarrassed at the occasional public displays of affection they see in their mother and me. We have discovered a wonderful gift in recent years: the renewal of a very old doctrine called Entire Sanctification. Tthe jist of the theology is: In the heart of a convert there remains an earthly nature to sinning. The cause of sinful actions which constantly urge the human spirit to evil. The following theology of sexuality is a direct result of my own encounter with God. He requires of me a pure mind, body and soul totally surrendered to a life of Holiness. True family values can only be experienced from a clean heart.
It took me thirty years of marriage to discover this truth and I am sorry to confess that my carnality expressed itself in careless disregard for the victims of my selfish and lustful actions. What I mean kids, is I was very wrong. It is not too late to tell you that we have discovered the pearl of greatest price "Christian Holiness" and it does not mean the end of intimate human sexuality. (My grown children are now covering up their ears hoping that I do not get too graphic in my desire to describe the joy of sex.) I would however like to offer a gift to my children and grandchildren by saying "I did it the wrong way and you don't have to waste thirty years looking for purity. It is a pure heart that brings the divine understanding of intimate relationships. You will learn best to relate to others when your relationship with God is in perfect adjustment. That adjustment is a second work of grace much like being save. Until you have dealt with your earthly inclination to sinful nature your selfishness will drive your desire for sexual satisfaction. True intimacy requires purity.
Some people have perverted marriage by declaring that their relationship will have no test. What happens in this situation is that the partners grow apart. One day they wake up in separate bedrooms and no longer require the passion which once activated their relationship. I am not suggesting that there is no life without sex. I am just saying that sexuality is a wonderful diagnosis of relational quality. You can't fake love. "You've either got it or want it." Is there anybody out there that doesn't want "Love"? Yes there are those who try to replace casual sex for love. But Holy sexuality is human intimacy which re- iforces the marriage relationship. It was created by God for Godly people. I encourage my children to develop a healthy attitude toward sex. It is not to be feared, but cherished as the regular opportunity for intimate nurturing and mutual therapy.
There may be a trail of victims behind you longer than a coal train. God can pardon sins and cleanse your body mind and spirit so that family values can become a reality in your world. First comes pardon for sin. Then comes cleansing from sinful inclinations. I am not so naive that I think all is well in camelot. There are those reading this work who are caught in sinful relationships. My recommendation is that both partners confess their sinning and reach out for purity in heart. From personal commitment to God genuine relationships can be built into the miracle of true intimacy. If you are in a relationship, married or not that has lost the joy of "Love" God is calling you to Holiness.
Psalm 51:1-2
Fantasy is the perversion of the soul. If human intimacy is the product of fantasy it facilitates the abuse of your partner. This person given to you in marriage is not a plastic doll you can pull out of a closet and use like a toy to satisfy your ambition to be a Hollywood look-alike.
I cannot express the self inflicted pain I personally have suffered while entertaining fantasy sex. It is mental prostitution and leaves every one just as guilty the next morning. If you are engaging in a sexual experience out side of the sanctity of marriage you are sinning. No matter how the world presents these experiences as good, God does not approve.
Sexuality is Godly. The world has perverted one of the most graceful experience known to man into dirt. One of the wonderful benefits of a sanctified life is a sanctified marriage. Two people joined as one to form a new generation of holy people.